So it’s time for me to round out my back story a little bit.
I got laid off 2.5 months ago. This means that, unexpectedly, I have more free time on my hands. Shortly after the lay-off I went from having my kids full-time to half time which also frees up more time so now I have hours to spend by myself… inside my own head… which isn’t always pretty… did I mention that I am single as well?
Anyway, in the beginning it didn’t feel like free time. It felt like redoing resumes, job searching, applying for jobs, feeling alone and sorry for myself, getting organized for Christmas, etc. But, it did give me time for some self-reflection too, what do I want to do with my life? Am I happy? Am I who I want to be? Where is my life headed and how can I make conscious decisions to get where I want to go? You get the picture.
Because although your job can consume a lot of your time and life, it doesn’t define you. It doesn’t take away everything you are if you lose it. But it can be a drain on your well-being if you let it. In the craziness of everyday life which revolves so much around your work you can forget to take time for yourself, forget to focus on what makes you happy, forget to do things for yourself and live in the present. Most of the time, you are so busy rushing that the important things can pass you by.
During this period of unemployment, lots of people asked if I was enjoying my time off. My first reaction was “No, I’m not on vacation.” I was focusing on the negatives: the bills to pay, the unanswered job applications, the soul sucking experience of actually looking for work, you catch my drift. But in the last week or so, since I have started blogging (and been on a promising job interview) I realize that I have actually been enjoying my time off. Of course there have been parts that haven’t been great but there are parts that have been pretty damn good. I am fortunate that I have had this time to look at my life and do some self-evaluation, I am glad that I have been home after school when the kids get here, I am glad that our evenings together seem less harried and crazy. Am I looking forward to going back to work? YES! A regular pay cheque and challenging work are also good for a person’s soul. But I don’t regret this time off at all and I hope that I can continue to focus on my goals for 2013 even when I start working again. I’m hoping this blog will continue to make me accountable to myself. And I hope that by the end of 2013, I will be pleased with my journey and a happier person overall.