I find it very hard to get motivated to do things these days. As I said the other day, I’ve been unemployed for almost 4 months now. I cannot believe it has been that long. It is very easy to get into bad habits of doing nothing, and for someone who is supposed to be revitalizing her life in 2013 it seems like I am on the wrong track.
I think my problem is that I feel like I have lost my passion. I’ve been feeling that for quite awhile, hence the name and purpose of the blog. I only have 2 things that I am passionate about at the moment and they aren’t things at all, they are my kids. When my kids are in my house I am much more productive. I love having them around and hearing their stories and hanging out with them. But they can’t be my whole life. I spend every second week without them here with me. I need to find something else to give me some purpose. Something else so that when they aren’t here I’m not dragging myself to get things done.
I wish I loved cooking or exercising or something that makes me bounce out of bed in the morning because I can’t wait to get to doing it. I was kind of hoping that this blog might be it. I’ve thought about having a blog for years and I enjoy writing for the most part but I am not on the edge of my seat to post here everyday. As a matter of fact, lots of days I am trying to figure out what to write about. That doesn’t mean I am giving up, I’m going to blog for the year to try and figure out my life and passions and make things better for me. I think I need to spend some serious time reflecting on what I could be passionate about even if I don’t have that passion now.
I am going to add some new tasks to my 52 Actions list today. Tasks that will require me to really spend some time thinking about this. There are days when I wish that I had someone to help me with all of this or at least cheer me on. But I know that I need to be my own cheerleader, be my own advocate, I need to own my life and be responsible for the direction that it takes.