I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m not good at dating. I would actually prefer to skip all of the getting to know each other stuff and jump right to the being comfortable with each other phase. If there is a simple way to do that, please let me know.
In the preliminary stages of online dating, it’s a numbers game. You cast a net to make sure you aren’t missing any diamonds in the rough and then you try to filter out the real crazies and losers to get to the few good guys. It is a slow and sometimes painful process.
Once you find someone you’d like to talk to, you have to try to get to know each other through instant messenger or emails. Remember when you could use facial expressions and body language to help the conversation along? Now you are forced to rely on smiley 🙂 and winky 😉 faces to help convey your message.
Practically every dating profile says that they aren’t interested in games or BS but how do you avoid it when emoticons are the best tools you have to express yourself? The problem is that getting to know each other by electronic means leaves everything open to games. We flirt online (as best we can), without trying to come on too strong or be too lame. We try to joke and act casual and be interesting; the whole thing feels like a balancing act and every act is different depending on the person you are talking to.
If you do make it to the actual in-person dating stage, things are still not smooth sailing. There are mixed messages, uncertainties and of course, the unwritten dating rules to deal with, like how long you should wait before calling, texting or talking to each other after the date or some other craziness that makes you feel like you’ve been transported to another planet and you don’t speak the language. Whatever happened to just spending time together if you like each other?
Or maybe it’s easier than it looks and I’m over-complicating things… If someone just explained the rules to me I’d probably be better at it or if you have Dating for Dummies tucked away somewhere, please send me the Cole’s Notes version so I can stop feeling confused and sad 😦