A few years ago when I first tried out online dating I was new and enthusiastic for the possibilities. I lived in a small town and there weren’t a lot of male options in my age range so I started chatting online with this guy who lived a couple of hours away from me. Because we lived so far from each other we chatted for a long time before we actually met. The chatting evolved from messages to instant messenger to actually talking on the phone. There was a lot of flirting and innuendoes. It was exciting to be “dating” again and to feel like someone wanted me after the dissolution of my marriage. Even though we didn’t have a lot in common other than being single, it kind of felt like we were in “relationship” before we even met.
However, I have since learned that the in-person meet-up is the real test of chemistry between two people. After several weeks of talking, we agreed to meet at a mid-point between our two towns. I had seen pictures of him, pictures that were taken from a distance and always with his mouth closed. So I was a little shocked when I met him to see his teeth.
I had never seen teeth like that. Both his upper and lower teeth literally pointed outwards. It looked like something had exploded in his mouth and made all of his teeth protrude outwards. I searched the internet for similar looking teeth so I could show you what they looked like but I couldn’t find any, so you will have visualize them in your mind and then when you do, picture them looking worse.
When I was a teenager, I wore braces for over 2 years so I have a little thing about teeth. They don’t have to be perfect but I would prefer that they look somewhat normal. I hated that the whole thing made me feel shallow but there was no way I could date this guy. On the other hand, he was very pleased to see me. (Now I sound shallow and conceited, but he was pretty happy to see me.)
Anyway, we had both driven an hour to meet, so we went ahead and had dinner; yet in my mind the shine had already worn off and I was racking my brain for an exit strategy. Dinner was fine and then we went for a bit of a walk, I could tell that he really wanted to kiss me but I didn’t want to lead him on and I really did not want to kiss him (ok, I guess I am shallow). After we had spent what I thought was a reasonable amount of time together I made an excuse as to why I had to leave.
The next time we spoke on the phone I told him that my ex was back in town and I was confused about my feelings. It was true, my ex was back in town and this guy knew it. It was a lie about my feelings though. I had no intention of getting back with my ex but I didn’t want to hurt this innocent guy who I had been talking to for weeks. I couldn’t tell him it was his teeth, that was just too harsh.
So the moral of this story is, never wait too long to meet someone new. You may think there is something there between the two of you but the real chemistry test is when you meet in person.