I’ve been online dating for way too long. Some people get lucky and find Ms. or Mr. Right almost as soon as they sign up and then there are those of us that don’t.
I’m not sure if those “lucky” people are just settling for the first person that comes along or if they know something I don’t. But there are some people that do manage to find the real deal. I know at least 3 people who met their significant other through online dating. Real people… that I know. Perhaps I should be asking them for advice.
The reason why I am ranting is I want to give you an example of how things go for me in the realm of online dating. Then perhaps you will understand why it is so frustrating.
The other evening I chatted with 5 different guys in the same evening. Yes, 5 guys, only one of which I messaged first. This may seem like a lot but when the pickings are sketchy at best you better hope for more than 5.
The first guy to message me looked like the biggest douchebag. Seriously. He looked like he had spray on tan, was probably on steroids and even had pictures of himself in some tight satiny shirt. All you have to do is google “douchbags” and you will find multiple pics of guys that look just like him. Plus he was 28. Did I mention I am 44?
The guy I messaged first wrote me back and asked me if I wanted to meet. It was 8 o’clock on a Saturday night so the idea wasn’t completely unrealistic but since I had my kids I told him I was busy. After that he was pretty much done talking to me. He was looking to make plans….
The next guy to message me was 29 years old but he had a Masters in Enginneering and kids so I figured he was probably mature for his age. I said hi back. We exchanged some pleasantries and it was either the fourth or fifth message that he sent me where he mentioned the size of his penis. I kid you not. Apparently in some universe this is socially acceptable in online dating. And it must work on some women as men keep doing it over and over again. Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes women are curious about those things but if you were to meet me in person you wouldn’t share what size you were blessed with within minutes of starting a conversation. Or at least I would hope not. Perhaps some men figure that they can’t get slapped online so it must be ok, but it really isn’t. What it says to me about you is that 1) you are only looking for sex and 2) you don’t really respect women. So if you are a man reading this, stop telling women the size of your member within the first few messages, it really is not a turn on for women of substance. And definitely do not send pictures of it. Seriously, just don’t. (I didn’t get any pictures last night, perhaps I’ll share those stories another time ;).)
The 4th guy of the night was somewhere around my age and seemed ok at first. However, it didn’t take long to realize that his last girlfriend cheated on him within the very recent past and he wasn’t over it yet. There was a lot of incomprehensible rambling which just got worse the more he wrote. I gave up when I could no longer follow his story due to the multiple spelling errors and incomplete thoughts.
Finally, guy #5 seemed like a stand-up kind of guy. He was well-spoken, asked me what the best part of my day was (which I thought was a pretty original pick-up line) and even made me laugh. The problem is that he is also quite a bit younger and lives an hour and a half drive away from me. So I really don’t see it going anywhere.
I would love to say that Saturday was an anomaly but unfortunately it is par for the course for me. 5 conversations in one night is a lot, usually there are fewer, but the end result is pretty much expected at this point.
The last guy I met in person was a few weeks ago now. He lived an hour drive away but even with that we clicked for the most part. Unfortunately luck was not on my side and there were some issues we couldn’t overcome so I’m still single. He did make me realize though that I am finally over my ex. It was a long time coming but I am happy that the day is here.
Perhaps that is why I couldn’t find the “one” before this. I wasn’t completely free from my baggage. Maybe this means that things are going to turn around for me and I will only attract good male options from now on. HA! I couldn’t even keep a straight face while I wrote that. I’m still hanging in there for now, my job luck and mate luck could change any minute. I just need to keep positive about the whole thing. Or laugh whenever possible 🙂