Men make me obsessive which seems to be in conflict with the whole ‘live in the present in order to be happier’ theme that I am trying to adopt. So can someone please explain to me why I want one? Oh yes, the whole sex thing, damn.
I’m sort of seeing someone. However, I never know when you can actually claim that you are seeing someone in the whole dating scheme of things. I mean, we haven’t been out that many times but I’m not seeing anyone else and I am pretty sure that he isn’t and we text every day… does that mean we are seeing each other? No idea, I’m sure there is a rule about it that I am not privy to. lol.
Anyway, it’s a guy I met in March and he lives an hour away. We each have kids so that means that in addition to the whole travel issue, now we have scheduling issues too. Luckily he has his kids on the same weekends I do so that means we also have the same weekends free… or some people would assume so…
Why is it, that in my mind I can see that this isn’t going to work without at least a little bit of planning and yet men, and I’m generalizing here, feel that everything will just kind of fall into place without making any actual plans that involve seeing the person they are “dating”?
Let me get specific. We really started seeing each other in person 2 weeks ago. We saw each other on a Wednesday night. He has his kids Tuesday and Thursday evenings for a couple of hours. Plus he had plans for that weekend to help a friend with some renovation type stuff. I had my kids the next week. So the next time we saw each other was Tuesday, yes this past Tuesday, for about an hour because I happened to be near where he lived for a job interview and he happened to be home from work because he was sick. So in 2 weeks, we saw each other 1 evening plus 1 hour.
We did have plans to see each other last night and discussed seeing each other on Friday but that was not confirmed. However yesterday morning I cancelled last night, #1 because he was sick and I didn’t want to drive an hour both ways to see someone who really just needed to be sleeping and #2 because I thought we were getting together on Friday. He even agreed that cancelling was a good idea because he was tired, however, somewhere within the last few days he made plans to go away for the weekend, including Friday. He texted that to me last night when I mentioned seeing him on Friday.
So if you’ve been following, out of a 2 week period we have the potential to see each other on 1 weekend and 1 Monday evening and 1 Wednesday evening. If one person makes plans for those weekends then there is only the option to see each other on 1 Monday and 1 Wednesday every 2 weeks, oh, and it is an hour drive to make this happen. Did I mention that I am doing the driving? Yes, I am an idiot, but that’s another story.
Anyway, after telling me of his plans and asking me if I was upset, I diplomatically shared the math with him. (I really was diplomatic. When you are texting you have time to think before you hit send if you so choose.) Once I shared the math with him, he said that he wanted to see me on Friday and he’d go out to his friend’s place on Saturday. So now I feel aggravated that I had to show the math to him in order to get him to pick me on Friday and I feel stupid because I feel like I am making more of an effort than he is. But since it is just starting out, I don’t want to seem like the whiny girlfriend.
I hate dating, he should just want to be with me period… not say that he wants to hang with me and then make other plans. Yes, I know how I sound, I’ve re-read this post multiple times before it actually got posted – I sound desperate. I’m not desperate though and I will only put up with the BS for so long before he gets the boot. I’m just trying to be as reasonable as possible in this beginning stage when things are unsure and I have no idea what is going on.
If you’re sick of the whining, me too, so you can be happy that this post is almost over. I just find the whole dating process so damn frustrating. All I want is to find someone that I like, to like me back and to treat me with respect, oh and great sex. Someone that could work around my schedule too would be perfect. Is that too much to ask?