So I’m not sure what has happened but I seem to actually be interested in a guy.
This is not my typical dating scenario. Most often I’ll meet a guy, we’ll go out a few times, I’ll decide he’s not for me and move on. Or if the guy does make it through my initial screening to the point of actual dating then shortly thereafter he hits his 3 strike limit and he is no longer a viable long-term option. Now don’t get me wrong, I can already visualize the multiple hurdles that are attached to this guy and realistically do not believe we will make it more than 6 months, but who knows, weirder things have happened, lol.
Let’s look at the guy I dated a year ago. I liked him, we clicked on some level, but when he started talking about planning things for 5 months down the road and meeting his mother, it scared the hell out of me. After a very short amount of time he became someone that I referred to as my “trial” boyfriend. He was the first one to ever meet my kids and I learned that they wouldn’t fall apart to see Mom dating. But after a certain point I no longer thought of him as a long-term prospect. We went out 5 months and then it crashed and burned. I’d say that this is typical but most guys I went out with never got that far.
Kirk* (I’ve changed his name, perhaps he doesn’t want me writing about him on here, lol) and I met through online dating, I’m an introvert, that’s how I meet guys. We hit it off right away, so there were lots of emails and texts. This was back in March. We eventually met in person, it went great, there were extenuating circumstances and it didn’t go anywhere. Fast forward two months, he sends me a message out of the blue telling me to get out of his head, lol. I was surprised, I had moved on without too much of a backwards glance. We chatted that night, messages back and forth. At the time, I didn’t realize he was drinking, and when I found out the next day I was not impressed and told him so.
A few days later I decided to give Kirk another chance. Not so much because he’s perfect for me, but because he had managed to lodge himself into my head with his most recent batch of messages. We decided to meet again. It went well again. And then after a few weeks it didn’t. Things somehow managed to continue to progress but it just really became a process of dating by text.
Last week I wrote him a very long email explaining in detail what was working for me and what wasn’t. I told him that if he wasn’t looking for anything that involved actually seeing each other more than every 3 weeks or so that I was out. I found the whole thing too frustrating and wasn’t interested. He told me he had been stalling and that the whole concept of dating again scared him (he’s divorced twice if you didn’t click the links or forgot). But he said that he needed to hear what I said, he apologized, and he invited me to dinner on Saturday. I went, I like him for some reason. It went extremely well, lol.
I don’t know if it is him or me or a combination of the two but when he mentions 5 months down the road it seems plausible on some level. It doesn’t make me want to run for the hills. When he tells me he thinks about me all the time, it doesn’t scare me. When he held my hand on Saturday, I really liked it. When he took me for a walk on the beach because he knows I like beaches it made me think about how sweet he is.
Is the difference him or am I finally ready for something serious? I’m not sure, I’m not sure if we’ll make it 5 more months, things have not been smooth sailing so far, but maybe we will, and I guess I am open to this possibility.