I’m a bit of a planner. I don’t need my whole life planned out and I can certainly go with the flow when the going is good. But I’m also the type of person who doesn’t want to go with the flow so much that I actually miss the boat.
I get that some people like to be spontaneous. Spontaneous can be fun. But spontaneous can also mean that there is the potential to miss out on certain things, like say you need to purchase tickets in advance for something… spontaneous is not going to cut it in that situation. Or let’s say that you have to work around other people’s schedules, then someone will need to take the initiative and figure out some type of plan.
Sven and Kirk are both non-planners. It drives me a little crazy. When I was dating Kirk, I felt like we needed to make some plans since we’re both single with kids and we lived an hour away from each other. Even with planning we only saw each other about every 3 weeks. And since he was anti-planning that meant that any type of plan fell on my shoulders.
Now fast forward to Sven, Sven also does not like to plan, which means that I arrange every time we’re going to meet. It makes me feel like he could care less if he sees me. I’m quite sure that isn’t true but it also sucks that I have to make the first move every time. For example, we’re seeing each other tonight and tomorrow night. This happened because I told him I was free and asked him if he was as well. I’m also free this Saturday night and all next week but he hasn’t asked so he doesn’t know. If I just let it go, we may eventually get together some time next month…
I didn’t really pick up on this whole planning gene until I started dating Kirk and it became more of a necessity. I mean, I’ve planned lots of stuff before but I guess it felt more like a collaborative effort.
I prefer when someone else is part of the plan. It makes it easier to come up with something that everyone wants to do. Plus it doesn’t feel like the onus is all on me. I don’t like the onus all on me, does anyone? I want the option to be spontaneous too.