Taking on 2013 and hoping to revitalize my life

No Decisions to be Made

Remember how recently I mentioned the guy who wanted to make an appointment for us to break up in 2 weeks? Well, he has never disappeared from my life.

The back-story is that we dated just over 2 years ago. Like I said, we could not make our schedules work and it just seemed like he was getting less and less interested. The frequency of talking was going down and eventually we broke up. About a year after we broke up, he emailed me and said he had been reading some of our final emails and wanted to apologize for the way things ended with us – When you are trying to have a relationship by email, including the breaking up part, things are bound to be a little sticky. Things didn’t end great, my feelings were a little hurt but I moved on. We had only dated a couple of months, it’s not like we were engaged.

I received the email but didn’t bother to respond. I may have still harboured some ill will but what was the point of replying one way or the other? I just decided to let it go.

Then a few months after that I ran into him in person, we chatted for a couple of minutes but both of us had kids so it was pretty short.

Then he came across my profile in online dating and sent me a note. We chatted a bit back and forth and I told him I had gotten laid off. He had heard about the lay-offs in the news so I confirmed that I was one of the many involved. A couple of days later, he sent me this comprehensive email on resume tips, job-hunting sites, lots of great info that I could use. It was extremely thoughtful. Of course, to be polite, I thanked him. We sent a few emails back and forth and that was it.

Last week, I inadvertently sent him a note through the online dating profiles. He had different pictures which were taken from really far away, there was no way I could know it was him. Anyway, we chatted a bit and he asked me to play squash. I have always wanted to play squash and never had the chance, he offered to teach me so I accepted. It just kind of came out of the blue and on the spur of the moment I said yes.

Well, of course we can’t play until December (the scheduling issue is really my fault this time) so I can’t tell you how it went yet. But I can tell you that he has since told me that he is really glad that we reconnected. He explained that the reason he broke up with me over 2 years ago was because he was too busy and he felt guilty that he didn’t have more time for me. I’m not convinced that that is 100% the whole truth but I think he may have convinced himself of that. He has also since told me that he was really attracted to me and thought we made a good couple.

Now the thing is, the 2 of us look like a great match on paper. I’m not convinced that things would play out any differently this time if I did give him a second chance though. The scheduling was not the only issue there. Anyway, I’m not making any bold moves at this point, I have a squash game in 2 weeks and that’s it for now.

Plus, I’m still dating Sven. Things aren’t overly serious with Sven and I (and not that long ago I was considering breaking up with him), but then we saw each other this past weekend and we had a very nice time.

At this point in time there are no decisions to be made. It’s a simple game of squash. I haven’t committed to anything more than that. It’s ok just to take things slowly and see how they pan out on all sides of everything.


Comments on: "No Decisions to be Made" (3)

  1. all relationships, including friendships, take time to develop.

  2. […] was supposed to go play squash this weekend. It didn’t happen. Things just didn’t feel […]

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