A thought popped into my head the other day about how I view certain areas of my life with a feeling of scarcity. And by certain areas I mean the whole relationship side of things. I hadn’t given it this label before but once the “scarcity” word popped into my head I realized that it was very accurate.
Even during this past year, I have been focusing on how to create happiness when I am alone. Now it is important, to be happy by yourself and with who you are, but part of the reasoning behind this idea was that I figured that I probably wouldn’t find another long-term relationship. If I am thinking those negative thoughts then I’m sending them out to the universe. So here’s the deal, I’m not going to be thinking those thoughts any more (or I’m going to work on not thinking them). What I will be doing is welcoming an abundance of connections into my life. And by connections, I mean that I want to feel some type of connection with people, both men and women.
I’m at a place in my life where I want to let people in, I want to feel connected. When I was younger it wasn’t an issue, I had lots of close friends. Then when my marriage ended I closed myself off. I built up walls. I couldn’t connect with men or women.
I think I have knocked down some of those walls or at least have punched a few holes in them. So this means that it is time for me to welcome an abundance of connections into my life.
English: Palm island to the left (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
It is harder now though. We are no longer kids playing together in a sandbox, we are now adults with our own versions of baggage. I can’t make others leave their baggage elsewhere but I can do my best to let mine go. I’ve been working on that and will continue to work on that.
Connecting with others on a personal level will lend itself well to living a happier life. No man is an island, no woman either.
I’ve been slacking on my 52 Actions so this upcoming week I’m going to try extra hard to do this one. It’s an easy one but pretty important. Compliment 7 People in 7 Days.
I mean, who can’t compliment 7 people in 7 days?
In fact, it’s so easy that I dare you to join me. I dare you to compliment 7 people in 7 days. Even if just 2 of us do it then 14 people get compliments. If 3 of us do then 21 people get compliments. You see where I’m going.
So I triple-dog dare you to join me in complimenting 7 people in 7 days. You know you wanna. Just do it, you’ll be glad you did.
And to inspire you further, listen to Kid President, he’s pretty smart and says that you should do it too!
I took an HTML/CSS course yesterday.
Since I have a blog and have occasionally thought about hosting it on my own, it seemed like a good idea to increase my skills. This one day course was just the thing to get me thinking about coding again and taught me some cool CSS stuff which I had no idea how to do. As a matter of fact, look at what I made!
The content of the webpage is not overly exciting but I styled it all myself, there was no template. I made my personal image float to the left, centred things, put fancy, rounded squares around my other images, and made the menu bar stick to the top of the page. Plus some other exciting CSS things :P.
I know you’re thinking “this girl is geeky”, but it’s true, I enjoyed myself. It was fun starting with a blank page and filling it up from scratch.
And if that isn’t enough for you, it was social too. I got out of the house and met some new people. I also chatted with some people I already knew who were taking the course. As a matter of fact, I had lunch with one of my good friends this week and neither of us mentioned that we were taking this, and lo and behold, birds of a feather I guess.
This one day course even got me thinking about programming again. I was a programmer a lifetime ago. Those skills have not been flexed in a long time but there are lots of jobs in that field so it’s got me thinking. Not sure how much thinking I’m going to do but thinking nonetheless.
Dinner was delicious and I did not have to cook it.
I went to my first cooking class last night. I didn’t do any of the actual cooking but the chef prepared the food in front of us so that we could replicate the dishes later and he gave us some awesome cooking tips during the preparation. Tips like how to get more juice out of your lime or how to easily peel your garlic clove. He also showed us how to pit a peach and an easy way to shred cabbage. He also said that you should never use Pam (cooking spray) as it contains propane, ewwww, that seems like a bad thing to have in your food-related products.
In addition to the tips he shared, we got to eat the 4 course meal that he cooked for us. We started with a Vermicelli Noodle Salad with Peanut Sauce, then a simple corn, tomato and avocado salad, followed by chicken enchilada pasta and we finished the night with a pineapple, blueberry and peach crumble. My favourites were the vermicelli noodle salad and the chicken enchilada pasta but it was all very good. The crumble had a coconut and almond crust on it as opposed to the regular oat crust and it was very easy to make. I might try it myself some time but I think I will leave out the pineapple. I like pineapple but it was not my favourite in the crumble.
One of the reasons I wanted to take the course was as a way to meet new people. So in addition to eating some yummy food, I also chatted with the woman next to me. The class was a mix of couples and singles and several of the attendees were regulars.
I’m really glad I finally made it there. It’s a nice evening out, I learned some cooking tips AND I got to eat delicious food, all for $15. It’s a pretty sweet deal, I definitely want to go again. The only problem with the class is that it is on Tuesdays, which is also badminton night. But now that I know how good it is, I will have to make the time for it again.
I have 2 sisters. I’m very lucky as they are also my best friends.
It wasn’t always this way, growing up there were plenty of skirmishes. My older sister and I had our fair share but my younger sister and I really did not get along. There are 5.5 years between my younger sister and I and my Mom says that I resented her because I was the baby until she came along. I can neither confirm not deny that as I have no idea if that was the reason or not but I do know that we fought like cats and dogs. Things finally worked themselves out between us when I moved out at 18 and went to university.
Part of what helped us resolve things was a family crisis and another part was the space. The crisis gave us some common ground and the space allowed us to not be in each other’s hair all of the time. I’m not saying the crisis was a good thing, it wasn’t. But if I’m trying to look for the silver lining, I think that it was the beginning of a new understanding of each other.
Now the 3 of us are grown and we truly enjoy each other’s company. Even though I would consider myself an introvert, I never have any trouble talking to my sisters. I know that our shared history is a huge part of it, it means that we have similar values and definitely a similar upbringing. But not all siblings are close. I think that we just “get” each other. We accept each other’s strengths and weaknesses, we are always supportive and we love each other unconditionally. Those are key ingredients to any type of good relationship.
I’m just super lucky to have that relationship with 2 of the most important women in my life!
I came up with a simple plan about a month ago to re-connect with some friends I have not been in touch with recently. The concept was to have a lunch, coffee or drink date with 4 different people over a period of 4 weeks.
In theory that sounds pretty easy but once you throw work, vacations and just general scheduling into the mix it becomes trickier. After a few cancellations and some creativity I managed to meet 4 of my friends in a slightly over 4 week time frame. I also have 2 outstanding invitations which I plan to follow-up on later.
The first meeting was lunch. The woman I met was more of an acquaintance than friend so I had great hopes. I always thought we might hit it off if we had the time to chat, I don’t think I’ve found my new best friend but I’m still really glad I made the effort to connect with her.
The next lunch was with a friend that I meet sporadically. We met about 14 years ago at school and we reconnected again about 3 years ago when we came across each other in the realm of online dating. He has asked me out but I’ve always put him off as I think we are much better friends than we ever would be in any type of intimate relationship. I always enjoy getting together with him though because he is the perfect person to share dating ‘war’ stories with. He seems to attract a multitude of crazy women and often has great stories to tell.
The third meet-up was at a wedding, I admit, I cheated on this one. I didn’t invite this friend but I knew she was going to be there and I knew we would hang out. We used to work together in the same office and sat right next to each other. We got to be pretty good friends during that time. She moved out of the city to be with her boyfriend so as time passed our chats grew less and less frequent. It was so great to see her at the wedding. She’s always smiling and so fun to be around, I really enjoyed seeing her again. I was glad we got the chance to catch up a bit. (If you’re reading this Jess, I just want to say that I miss you and was so happy to see you at the wedding :).)
The fourth meeting was yesterday at a coffee shop. I have this awesome friend who lives an hour away from me so it’s not that easy for us to connect. I had an interview yesterday near where she works and she was able to get away for an hour for us to chat. It was so nice to catch up. I always wished we lived closer so we could hang out more. She’s funny, talkative and a bit crazy – just the way I like my friends. We went to a Metallica concert together a few years ago, it’s definitely not my genre of music but I figured if I was going to be there I was going to be up front. The two of us wormed our way to almost the front (using the excuse that anyone tall could see over our heads) and we had a blast. I even caught a couple of the guitar picks they threw out to the crowd at the end of the show.
So how would I rate my little experiment? It was a definite success. I really enjoyed re-connecting with these people. And like I said, I have a couple more on my list that we tried to meet up and couldn’t make it happen within this time frame but there’s always next month.
If you have some old friends that you haven’t seen in quite a while then reach out to them and make it happen. Old friends are good friends and you’ll be glad to talk about life, listen to future plans or reminisce about past adventures. It’s worth it!
Yesterday I went to a fantastic wedding. One of my awesome friends was getting married and boy does she know how to throw a party. The venue was perfect, the decorations beautiful, the food was great and plentiful, even the weather was fabulous. But the best part of the wedding was hanging out with friends.
On Friday I was feeling all rejected and low, but spending time with fun people who care about you makes all of the difference. One of my girlfriends stepped in at the last minute to be my “date” for the wedding. It was really nice of her to agree to go, especially since I asked her just two days before the wedding. She even went out and bought a dress for the special occasion.
Another friend was at the wedding with her date, so the 4 of us just hung out and drank champagne, ate too many appetizers and basically over-indulged. Add to that a little bit of dancing and a few laughs and you’ve got a pretty great evening.
Joy seemed to permeate the room the whole evening. The bride was stunning and looked so happy. I spoke to the groom and he couldn’t believe his good fortune to be marrying such an amazing woman (and she really is). The speeches were heartfelt and endearing. It was a room full of love, and although, for a few minutes I wished I had someone special to share it with me, I realize now that I did. I had some very special friends.
Thanks you guys, you know who you are, and know that I love each of you very much!!!