Taking on 2013 and hoping to revitalize my life

Archive for the ‘Writing’ Category

An Abundance of Writing

Writing

Writing (Photo credit: jjpacres)

I’ve been asking for abundance to come into my life for a while now. The daily mantra has changed and morphed over the months but the premise remains the same. One of the additions to the mantra has been to ask for an abundance of writing. It’s funny how things don’t turn out exactly as planned but how they still turn out.

Originally I thought that my writing would take place here on this blog or in the form of a book that I’m supposed to be writing but that has not been the case. I am still writing here and one of these days I’ll take a stab at the book again but for now my abundance of writing is happening at work.

At work I’m writing. I’m writing blog posts and success stories and today I started writing my first brochure. I’ve been in marketing for years but have never written a brochure before. I was kind of wary about it at first but once I got some words on paper it got easier and by the end I thought it was pretty good.

As my workday came to a close I realized that I was proud of my writing and… I was happy. Happy to have created something. Happy to have a physical existence of my work. Happy to have something to show for my effort. And happy that I had written content that I was pleased with.

Not all of my writing makes me happy. Wait, that’s not exactly right. My writing makes me happy but I’m not always happy about people’s reactions to my writing. For example, we had Open Mic night at my writing course tonight and I put my hand up to read. I had decided to read my poem that I had written 10 years ago. I know it is a heavy piece but I always felt that it was good because it evoked emotions. Not all poetry is about trees and butterflies, sometimes it is about pain and suffering.

After the heart-pounding effort that it took to read my poem I was a little disappointed by the response. Or should I say lack of response. I did get a few people who commented but mostly I heard crickets chirping and I wasn’t even outside. The group follows the old adage that if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Based on the limited feedback, I guess people didn’t like it.

I wish that I didn’t care what others thought. I wish that I only cared what I thought about my writing. Why do we seek approval when really we should just revel in our personal triumph of getting the words onto paper? Why should we want the accolades when expressing our thoughts and dreams, since no matter what they are, the expression is a form of success all by itself?

One day I hope to be that person who writes and doesn’t care what others think. Some days I am better at it than others.

For now, I will continue to write and I will continue to try to find the joy in the act of writing itself. I think that the group of people who care about my writing is small but they do exist. And even if the group turns out to be a party of one, I hope that I can still be happy and proud that I did the work, wrote my thoughts down and created a physical representation of the ideas tumbling around inside my brain.

Liking the New Job Just Fine

I had a successful first week of work. It was a little more exciting than most first weeks of work.

I met a former Prime Minister this week, he came to the office and I shook his hand. We’re not best buds or anything but the day also involved free lunch and a field trip, so all in all, a good day.

Writing

Writing (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In addition, I found out today that the majority of my job is going to be writing (at least for now). Seriously. I’m so happy about that. It’s not writing a book, it’s going to be blog posts, web content and articles as opposed to fiction but every bit of writing is practice and will only strengthen my writing chops. I’m sure other tasks will crop up but this is great for now.

I’m a minority in this new job, almost everyone in the office has a different cultural heritage than I do. It’s a new experience. Right now I’m trying to learn by listening and wading in slowly. I’ve already made my first cultural faux-pas but I’m hoping to keep those to a minimum. Everyone in the office is great. As a matter of fact, I did a little bonding with a couple of people this afternoon. One of the other women and I discussed our kids and then 3 of us complained about the infrastructure of our little city. It was nice to just hang out and chat. We’ll be heading out-of-town one day next week so there will be more time to bond on the road trip.

I really think that this is a fantastic job for me right now after all the self-realization and improvement I have done during the past year. It will be tons of learning, tons of writing and probably more personal growth just as a result of the new environment and culture that I’m exposed to. Plus I’m working in a non-profit environment where the main mission is to help people, it’s a nice change from corporate greed and I think I’m going to like it just fine.

Short Story SUCCESS!

successAfter 3 failed attempts at 3 different stories I have succeeded in writing my short story.

What happened was I asked myself to try to dream about an ending for one of the stories that I had already started. My dreams had other ideas though and I woke up with a brand new idea. I really don’t know where it came from but the whole story was pretty much laid out for me in my dream. When I went to write it down over 1300 words spurted out of my brain and onto paper, the perfect amount for the short story contest!

Now I don’t know if it’s any good, but I like it. I’ve shown it to a few people and they all gushed. But I wouldn’t call any of them critics either. They are more like my support system so they’d say it was good even if it wasn’t, lol. The prize is $6000 and I would fall over from shock if I won. I’d even fall over from shock if I won one of the 4 runner-up prizes. But I feel like I have won a prize already. I am super proud of myself for writing a story!!!

It gives me real confidence that I could write a book. I’m not saying it wouldn’t be a lot of work. It would be a tonne of work. But I could and can do it.

I’m not going to share the short story here yet but I will include an excerpt from 1 of the unfinished 3 for your perusal. Just be warned, there is no ending, it is just a fragment. Maybe I’ll finish writing it later but I doubt it will hit the word limit I was looking for so maybe I won’t. I’d love your feedback. Even if you tell me it sucks.

The beginning of the end had already started. She had a way of seeing where a relationship was going and this one was already displaying the tell-tale signs of imminent disintegration.

Things had started out so promising with Greg. He was different from the rest of the men she had dated. He was a true gentleman, he asked permission to kiss her, and he took things slow and steady as if they had all of the time in the world. He was slightly shy and a little awkward around her. In fact, there were times when he had a hard time maintaining eye contact. At first she had found his cautious manner endearing. But before long it just became frustrating.

She needed someone who challenged her. Someone who pushed her out of her comfort zone. She didn’t want another man who needed to be led around on a leash. Who couldn’t make a plan or take action. She needed someone with backbone.  But she also didn’t want someone domineering and possessive. She wanted a partner. A partner in love, adventure and lust.

A partner was so difficult to find. Many of the men she had dated described themselves as easy-going. Well, there’s easy-going and there’s lazy. Many of them don’t seem to know the difference. Easy-going can be a positive trait but it can also be a negative when you wrap it up in a lack of ambition and an excuse to do nothing.

Greg had seemed like a breath of fresh air after the putrid stench of her previous lovers. She had no luck with men, or maybe she had poor decision making skills when it came to men. She always chose the outgoing, charming ones. The ones with little to no substance but lots of charisma and sex appeal.

At first glance, Greg had the potential to be something more than a few months of great sex and exasperating conversations. His air of naivety around women took away all sense of pretence. He wasn’t pretending to be something that he wasn’t. His sole goal was not just to get into any and all women’s pants.

She let herself day-dream of a future with him. Of long strolls together and conspiratorial chats over a few drinks. Of vacations to warm, sultry lands and passionate love-making. Of growing old together and still holding hands like giddy schoolchildren.

But they had been together two months now. Two months of flirting and fun and anticipation. Two months of chatting and getting to know one another. Two months culminating in a sweaty, sexy, no-holds barred copulation and now what? Now he’s pulling back. He’s recoiling from her, retreating.

She’s not sure what happened but the feeling is unmistakeable. Like a ball of yarn unravelling at an accelerating pace as it makes its downhill descent.

I Thought Writing a Short Story Would be Easy

I came across a short story contest that I want to enter. I don’t expect to win but I thought that it would be a good way for me to practice writing some fiction.

For some reason I thought it would be easy. I figured that I would have no problem pounding out the 1200-1500 required words. I mean, I can easily write 500, how hard can 2 to 3 times that amount really be?

Well, first of all, let me start by saying that I haven’t written pieces of fiction in over 20 years. I’ve written during that time, but not stories. Not things that have a setting, plot, conflict and character development.

At this point, I have now started and discarded 3 different stories. The first one had too many things going on and I didn’t know how to pare it down to one key theme without all of the other add-ons. The second 2 were more concise in terms of plot and theme but were also more concise in terms of number of words. Each one hit about the 600 word mark when I realized that I did not have enough content to stretch them to 1200 words.

I haven’t completely given up on the third one yet. The issue is that it will need to continue on beyond my initial plan and I’m not really sure what the new plan is. It will require some thought before I tackle it again.

The contest comes with a deadline though, Oct 31st. In theory, I should have enough time to dig deep and try to get it figured out. But I also have a new job that I’m starting tomorrow. That will be a bit of a distraction and could cut into my writing time. I’m hoping I can manage both, it would be pretty cool to get my first actual story onto paper.

I think it would also prove to myself that I can write a story, even if it is just a short one.

Crazy Idea

lightI got a crazy idea today. It kind of took me by surprise.

A friend of mine wrote a very erotic poem the other day. It wasn’t exactly something that I would write but it encouraged me to write some spicy haikus.

Today I was wracking my brain for a blog post idea when all of a sudden I thought that maybe I should try writing an erotic book. Those of you who know me may be wondering where the hell this idea came from or maybe you’re thinking I don’t seem like the type. But let me tell you, I like sex. I’m a sensual creature and I think that I may be able to express this on paper. I’ve already written over 500 words and it’s flowing pretty smoothly ;).

I don’t want to share anything here yet because it is an extremely rough draft but I’m kind of excited about this idea. Feeling kind of passionate even. Who knows if I can sustain this excitement for more than a few days but I’m willing to give it a shot. I finally have an idea that I really like so I’m going to go for it.

Who knows, this may be the inspiration I have been looking for :).

Haiku Fun

I got creative today. One of the ladies in my writing class challenged us to write some Haikus and another took a bold step and posted an erotic poem that she wrote. So now I have 8 Haikus for your reading pleasure, some of them naughtier than others. I hope you enjoy.

Tongue caresses me

Makes me wanton and hungry

Emboldened by lust

***

Flesh pressed against flesh

Comforting touch, soothing warmth

Caressing my soul

***

Gentle sighs emit

Sounds of pleasure and desire

Falling like mist

***

Blazing sun sharing

The final heat of summer,

Please stay one more day.

***

Autumn births colours

Of fire: orange, gold and red

In a sea of green.

***

Toes cannot resist

Lapping waves and sparkly sand.

The seashore beckons.

***

Soft fluttering lips

Dancing across naked flesh

Barely a whisper

***

Drunken with pleasure

She succumbed to his fingers

And delicious mouth

 

My New Mascot, He’s a Little Corny

beside the trail I went for a walk on Sunday looking for a little inspiration. I veered off my normal path and ended up here. Pretty darn spectacular I think. There was one problem though, the water was fairly close to the highway so even though it was a gorgeous spot, it was noisy and not in a relaxing way :(.

Anyway, I blocked the noise as best I could as I poked around. While I was embracing nature I found a little acorn in my path. Since acorns are really just stored up potential ready to burst forth and turn into a tree, I decided to keep this little acorn as my mascot. It is a symbol of new beginnings and potential.

acornYou see, since I’ve made a commitment to write every day, the writing has turned into work. Perhaps a physical representation of potential, of something waiting to burst forth will help.

I find that my creativity seems to have shut down. I have a feeling it is me shutting down though. If I don’t actually write a book then I can’t actually fail can I? I don’t know if that is me balking against a new challenge or if the process is harder now that I’m not just throwing together blog posts for fun.

I think I need to do something different, something out of the ordinary, something to shake things up. Perhaps I need a road trip; somewhere different from the regular old hangouts. Or maybe I need to push myself out of my comfort zone. Maybe I need to paint or dance or play with playdoh. Maybe I just need to take a notebook and write in the park for a change.

Tomorrow I’m going to do something different, with enough shaking something is bound to come loose.

 

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