Taking on 2013 and hoping to revitalize my life

Posts tagged ‘Book Writing’

An Abundance of Writing

Writing

Writing (Photo credit: jjpacres)

I’ve been asking for abundance to come into my life for a while now. The daily mantra has changed and morphed over the months but the premise remains the same. One of the additions to the mantra has been to ask for an abundance of writing. It’s funny how things don’t turn out exactly as planned but how they still turn out.

Originally I thought that my writing would take place here on this blog or in the form of a book that I’m supposed to be writing but that has not been the case. I am still writing here and one of these days I’ll take a stab at the book again but for now my abundance of writing is happening at work.

At work I’m writing. I’m writing blog posts and success stories and today I started writing my first brochure. I’ve been in marketing for years but have never written a brochure before. I was kind of wary about it at first but once I got some words on paper it got easier and by the end I thought it was pretty good.

As my workday came to a close I realized that I was proud of my writing and… I was happy. Happy to have created something. Happy to have a physical existence of my work. Happy to have something to show for my effort. And happy that I had written content that I was pleased with.

Not all of my writing makes me happy. Wait, that’s not exactly right. My writing makes me happy but I’m not always happy about people’s reactions to my writing. For example, we had Open Mic night at my writing course tonight and I put my hand up to read. I had decided to read my poem that I had written 10 years ago. I know it is a heavy piece but I always felt that it was good because it evoked emotions. Not all poetry is about trees and butterflies, sometimes it is about pain and suffering.

After the heart-pounding effort that it took to read my poem I was a little disappointed by the response. Or should I say lack of response. I did get a few people who commented but mostly I heard crickets chirping and I wasn’t even outside. The group follows the old adage that if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Based on the limited feedback, I guess people didn’t like it.

I wish that I didn’t care what others thought. I wish that I only cared what I thought about my writing. Why do we seek approval when really we should just revel in our personal triumph of getting the words onto paper? Why should we want the accolades when expressing our thoughts and dreams, since no matter what they are, the expression is a form of success all by itself?

One day I hope to be that person who writes and doesn’t care what others think. Some days I am better at it than others.

For now, I will continue to write and I will continue to try to find the joy in the act of writing itself. I think that the group of people who care about my writing is small but they do exist. And even if the group turns out to be a party of one, I hope that I can still be happy and proud that I did the work, wrote my thoughts down and created a physical representation of the ideas tumbling around inside my brain.

Crazy Idea

lightI got a crazy idea today. It kind of took me by surprise.

A friend of mine wrote a very erotic poem the other day. It wasn’t exactly something that I would write but it encouraged me to write some spicy haikus.

Today I was wracking my brain for a blog post idea when all of a sudden I thought that maybe I should try writing an erotic book. Those of you who know me may be wondering where the hell this idea came from or maybe you’re thinking I don’t seem like the type. But let me tell you, I like sex. I’m a sensual creature and I think that I may be able to express this on paper. I’ve already written over 500 words and it’s flowing pretty smoothly ;).

I don’t want to share anything here yet because it is an extremely rough draft but I’m kind of excited about this idea. Feeling kind of passionate even. Who knows if I can sustain this excitement for more than a few days but I’m willing to give it a shot. I finally have an idea that I really like so I’m going to go for it.

Who knows, this may be the inspiration I have been looking for :).

I AM Enough

I feel like I am always waiting to be good enough.

I’ll just read one more article on the topic before I can speak intelligently about it. I’ll just research one more piece of information before I can make a decision. I’ll just get one more opinion before I can decide if this is the right path for me.

I have never felt like the expert. I undervalue my worth, my knowledge and my experience. I know that part of this comes from being a woman. Rochelle Schieck is quoted in Lisa Bloom’s book, think, as saying,”One of the most paralyzing things for a woman is her doubt.” and I believe that for me, this is true. I’m concerned that this is coming through in my job interviews. I feel like I’m a jack of many trades and a master of none. And perhaps my insecurity leaks into my interviews when it should not. When I should be proving that I am the best candidate for the job.

books

books (Photo credit: brody4)

My insecurity presents itself in other ways too. Recently, I have been mulling over book topic ideas. And again, I feel like I could write a little bit about a lot of subjects but not enough for a complete book. I know that I can always research the rest but it is nice to have a solid foundation. So I end up with a bunch of possible ideas and nothing that calls to me or presents itself as the best option. In the past I would have given up at this point, feeling overwhelmed and not up for the task.

But this month is different, at least as far as the book idea goes, for this month I am writing. I am just going to write each day on whatever topic I like. Much of this writing will become future blog posts, but I also plan to start attacking some of my book ideas by putting actual words on paper. I plan on fleshing out some stories, I plan on getting involved in the writing community that I have joined, and I plan on doing instead of thinking.

I may not know how to write a book and I may not know how to get it published but I do know how to write a sentence and that is enough for today. I AM enough and I can do this.

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