Taking on 2013 and hoping to revitalize my life

Posts tagged ‘Facebook’

Putting on Some Big Girl Panties

My youngest daughter was talking to her Dad on the phone the other day and his girlfriend was with him. My daughter heard her speaking and wanted to talk to her too. After a brief chat between the two of them my daughter told her “I love you.”

I have to admit that my first reaction in overhearing this was to flinch a bit. I don’t want to say that the statement hurt, it really didn’t, I guess it just caught me off guard.

I’m not concerned that she will replace me or that my girls will love her more than me. I’m their Mom. I have a great relationship with them and they love me a lot, just like I love them a lot. I don’t have any insecurities there.

I think the issue is that my kids are having a relationship with a woman who I have never met. She has been a part of their lives for over a year now. My ex has been with her for somewhere around 2.5 years (although I don’t know the exact dates) so I don’t think she is going anywhere soon, and I have never met her.

I have never asked to meet her and he has never brought it up but I think it’s time.

I’ve looked her up on Facebook before and based on a purely physical evaluation I thought she was prettier and skinnier than me and that made me feel less than. Less than what, I’m not sure, but I guess it had to do with feeling inadequate, feeling feelings about how my ex likes her more than me. I guess that made me not want to meet her. I’ve heard about her. My kids like her and say nice things about her. She sounds like a good person.

I think it is time for me to put on my big girl panties and to meet this woman who spends so much time with my kids. I think it’s time to take another step forward and move onto new chapters of my life.

Here’s to New Chapters

I’ve had a recurring message keep popping up during the last week or so. It’s pretty much been exclusively popping up in my Facebook news feed (so maybe that just says something about the stuff I subscribe to) but the first time I saw it, it struck a chord with me.

The first note read:

“Isn’t it beautiful that when you can finally let go of the ending of your story then you step into the new chapter of your next life?”

-Kristine Carlson

And then I got this today:

move on

I think someone is trying to tell me something. (There was one other similar message a couple of days ago but I didn’t keep that one.)

The funny thing is that I thought I had moved on for the most part. If this year hasn’t been about moving on and turning the page, I’m not sure what else I can do. Unless this message is about something more recent… like Sven. My relationship with Sven is going nowhere fast. He is obviously not ready for more than his current amount of effort. And I’m not so happy with his current amount of effort…

He’s been better recently but then things happened this past week which made me unhappy again.

However, I should probably give him some slack since Christmas is a bad time of year for him. His father passed away when he was 5 and his mother didn’t deal with it well which meant Christmas kind of sucked. And then his mother passed away when he was 18, at Christmastime. So… he has reason to not be real keen on this time of year.

But I don’t think it’s just that. He’s pretty bitter about his ex and her boyfriend. He would have stayed in his bad marriage indefinitely if she hadn’t cheated on him. I think it is too soon for him to actually be in the type of relationship that I would like.

That means that I have to go back to the drawing board. I won’t break up with him before Christmas, that would just be mean. But it looks like I’ll be back to the single girl status in the New Year. At least that is how I feel today, perhaps everything will take a turn for the better in the next few weeks.

And then again, maybe my ‘new chapter’ is not about my romantic life at all. Thoughts?

Crime and Punishment, the Teenage Version

Sunday Tasmanian Version

Sunday Tasmanian Version (Photo credit: Tama Leaver)

I used to work in social media so I’m very familiar with the ins and outs of various social networks. I’ve been exposed to the good that happens because of social media and I’ve been exposed to the bad.

Because of this experience, I’m cautious when it comes to my kids using social media. We’ve discussed the merits and the pitfalls that are associated with social media. My oldest is on Facebook but she is also forced to have her father and me as her friends on Facebook.

A while ago she asked me if she could join Snapchat, I said No. Snapchat has a reputation for being used a lot when sexting and sending inappropriate photos around the interwebs. I know that not everyone uses it for that but I’m cautious, and I haven’t been sold on why my daughter needs to be on that particular social network.

During this past weekend I was perusing her iPod touch and found that she had joined Snapchat after all. Needless to say, I was not happy.

In the following “discussion” surrounding her having the app on her iPod, she claimed that she didn’t remember me saying that she couldn’t download the app, in fact, she claimed that she didn’t remember discussing the app with me at all.

I know for a fact that we discussed Snapchat more than once and I remember (vividly) telling her that she couldn’t use it when she asked me. Therefore I have taken her iPod touch and laptop for 2 weeks. At the end of the 2 weeks, she can have it back but she will have to remove Snapchat and review everything that is on her iPod touch with me. Of course she thinks I’m being extremely unfair.

After she spent the afternoon being angry with me she actually started talking to me again. She still thinks that I’m being unfair and she is using the argument that she has a bad memory and does not remember the Snapchat conversation. She isn’t going so far as saying that I shouldn’t be angry or that she shouldn’t be punished, she just thinks that I’m over-reacting and that 2 weeks is excessive.

Let’s say that she actually forgot the conversation, I mean, she is a good kid. She rarely gets in trouble. She rarely gets punished. I think that her father has never taken her iPod touch from her and I’ve only taken it for as long as the weekend in previous incidents. Is the jump from 2 days of punishment to 2 weeks of punishment too severe? I haven’t changed my mind but I am thinking about what she has said. Would one week have made the same point?

I’d love to hear other opinions. Feel free to share. Parenting is hard enough without trying to do it in a vacuum.

Affirmation App: You Have the Best Ideas

My new friend, Sven, is a computer geek ;). And somehow, more than once, we have gotten on the topic of creating an iPhone app. We’ve tossed around a few ideas. Today I came up with the idea of an Affirmation App.

Here’s how it happened:

My day started out ok. I got up early and headed out to a job interview and some guy totally checked me out as I was walking down the street. Things were going well!

Then I went into the interview… At first I thought it went relatively well but by the time I was driving home I was second guessing some of my responses. Plus I reminded myself that the job was not exactly in my wheelhouse and they would probably be interviewing lots of people with better qualifications than me. In addition, remember how I got laid off 10 months ago? Well the company I worked for just did another big layoff… today. Lots of people I know. Which also means lots more people out looking for jobs. To top this all off, I had lunch with Sven (who I like) and the lunch just proved to me even more that he is not ready for any type of relationship.

So when I got home, I headed right for the chocolate covered almonds. Probably my first mistake. Then going through the multiple Facebook posts from my newly unemployed friends was my second mistake.

Do I need to say I was feeling sorry for myself??? I think that is pretty obvious at this point. In my chocolate-induced haze, I just wanted someone to snuggle with or at least reassure me that everything was going to be all right. I mean, 10th time is a charm right? 10 interviews at 10 different companies, the 10th time has to be lucky???

That’s when I came up with the idea for an Affirmation App. It could contain phrases like:

  • “You have the best ideas.”
  • “Damn, you look good.”
  • “I believe in you.”
  • “You can do it.”
  • “Hang in there, things will get better.”

I’m not the only one who feels like crap about myself. This has got instant success written all over it. Ok, nobody steal my idea.

It’s already been done? Damn :(.

Just Looking for Friends – More Dating Adventures

There’s this guy I’ve been chatting with for about 2 weeks. Funny, smart, good job, articulate, stuff in common with me, lots of good qualities… One major strike though is that he tells me that he has only been separated for 6 months. 6 months really isn’t that long when you’re separated from the mother of your children.

On another note, I’m computer savvy. I can find my way around the internet.

While talking with this guy he has shared some details of his life. Enough details that I have Googled him and found out his last name. This information has led me to his Twitter account. And… the conversations he has had with his ex. (As a matter of fact, I’m following his ex on Twitter, did I mention I live in a small city?) Anyway, based on these conversations they have not been separated for 6 months… it looks more like 3 months. As a matter of fact, she brought him back cheese curds from her recent trip to Quebec, and by recent, I mean about a week ago.

I guess his online dating profile did indicate that he was mostly looking for friends but was open to the possibility of a relationship. Perhaps he thinks he’s ready for a relationship but I highly doubt it.

Anyway, this doesn’t mean I’m not going to meet him this week as planned. I mean who can’t use more friends? I just need to approach this meeting as a “friends” meeting and not as a potential mate meeting. I wish I didn’t already feel attracted to him on some level though. We will just have to take things super slow and keep things on the “friends” page for a long time before pursuing anything else, if he actually wants to.

All I need is one awesome guy, who is available, and who likes me, and I like him, and who has enough money that I don’t have to worry about work, and all of my problems will be solved. Is that too much to ask??

Want to know something funny? He said that he has no Facebook account because he knows what happens to our data on there. Seriously… he even has pictures of his daughter posted on his Twitter account. At least Facebook has privacy settings.

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