Taking on 2013 and hoping to revitalize my life

Posts tagged ‘online dating’

Ex-boyfriend Tweet

I was looking at Sven’s twitter account over the weekend and this is what I found:

tweet

 

It was in reference to this t-shirt:

catboyfriend

Do you think he was talking about me and the fact that I just broke up with him????

 

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A Change of Pace in Dating

So Dan and I have seen quite a bit of each other in the last week and a half. (Surprising since he lives 2 hours away from me.) I don’t see how we can sustain the frequency though. But I have decided that I would rather spend some time missing someone I really like than breaking up with him and not having anyone to miss.

Yup, I said it. I really like him. And he really likes me. However, he is insecure about me. He keeps thinking I’m going to tell him that I’m not interested. I guess I’m to blame. I told him right from the start that long distance dating doesn’t work for me. And then I also told him that I haven’t dated anyone for longer than 5 months since the end of my marriage. Perhaps there is such a thing as too much honesty. But what it the point of not telling?

So whether it is what I’ve said or whether he is just insecure or a little bit of both, now I have to try to reassure him that I do like him. I don’t mind though. And hopefully, this is just a phase. Although he did tell me that at around 4.5 months he’s going to start worrying.

Dan and I have really connected. I have not felt this way about anyone in a long time. And apparently everyone is teasing him at work that his feet haven’t hit the ground since he met me. I think he’ll probably meet my kids soon. I can’t really avoid it if I want to see him lots, and I do. It’ll be a bit longer before I meet his. They’re quite a bit younger and I won’t be going to his place as much as he comes here but I’m quite sure I’ll meet them at some point.

This is so different for me. I’m not used to dating someone where I can see a potential future. It’s a nice change of pace. Oh, and by the way, I deleted my profile off the online dating site. I don’t think I need it any more. At least not for now, lol.

My Head is Spinning

This has been a whirlwind of a week. The kind that both drags a little and makes your head spin at the same time.

Here’s a quick recap:

I broke up with Sven on Monday. It was actually a bit harder than I expected. He seemed fairly surprised, made a bit of an attempt to make things better but in the end I think he might have been relieved that he had one less person complicating his life. We left the door wide open for future discussions, once he gets his life together, but overall it seems to have been the right decision.

I met Dan for the first time on Monday. He drove 2 hours to see me, we went out for dinner, and then a drive (almost hit a deer) and then I kissed him good night to stop his nervous chatting. I don’t know why he was so nervous, first date jitters I guess. I wasn’t really nervous at all, probably because I have done the whole first date thing many, many times. Anyway, things went really well and we made plans for Wednesday night.

Tuesday night I played badminton – yay!!

The 2nd date with Dan (on Wednesday) also went well. We got some donairs and watched a movie at my place. He told me his life story and apparently this is the break up of his 2nd marriage – eep. In spite of him now having 2 strikes, in my 3 strike policy, we had a great time.

Dan was not the only person I had been chatting with online and I also had plans to meet someone different on Wednesday night to play pool.  However, I hadn’t heard from this other guy for several days so I just figured it was off. This happens ALL OF THE TIME  in the online dating world. You just stop hearing from people and since I hadn’t talked to the guy since the weekend, I just figured it was not happening. However, he messaged me while I was out with Dan, apparently I stood him up. Oops!

Thursday night was quiet, a nice break after my busy week so far. I called my Mom and she told me that she is going to Australia this Spring!!! Wha??? That made my head spin with thoughts that I should go to Australia with my Mom. Did I mention that Dan and I had already been discussing a get-away down South within the next couple of months? I know, who makes plans to go down south with someone they just met? They weren’t solid plans, just the beginning of discussions. Both of us are itching to go somewhere and both of us need someone to go with. However, the whole Australia thing makes me think about going there with Mom. (and maybe Dan…)

Yesterday at work, these arrived for me in the middle of our staff meeting:

bouquet

My face was so red when the CEO gave them to me. I was both shocked and pleased to say the least. No one has bought flowers for me in a very long time. Dan just earned some brownie points. 

Dan and I went out again last night and we are seeing each other again today :). I’m going to renew my passport next week. My head is still spinning and everything seems a little surreal. Things will be back to normal crazy once I get the kids back next week though.

But I need to make a decision, very soon, about a little excursion to Australia.

New Guy In, Old Guy Out

I broke up with Sven yesterday, it was time. He’s a great guy, we have stuff in common and I like him, but we just don’t have enough in common to make it work. I know no one is surprised by this revelation. I’ve been talking about breaking up with him for ages.

However, he has not taken the break-up as an actual break-up, he has taken it more as an opportunity to make some changes based on feedback. He has been texting me more today than he has in ages.

The thing is, we had a big talk the last time we were together and I told him that I wanted to see more of him. He told me he needed his “alone” time.

When I told him that based on that discussion we weren’t looking for the same thing, he said he didn’t realize we were having “that” talk at the time. So apparently in his mind, he’s willing to see more of me if he has to in order for us to keep dating. Or at least that is how it comes across to me. I know he needs “alone” time, I get that. But I need more together time. So as you can see, not enough in common to make this work.

On the other hand, I have met someone else. I’m sure you are wondering how I met someone else when I just broke up with Sven yesterday. Well, I have been browsing the online dating site for a while since I had been planning to break up with Sven since before Christmas. I started chatting with Dan (not his real name) 9 days ago. I actually kind of blew him off at first since he lives 2 hours away from me. I don’t do well with the long distance thing. It really affects your ability to see each other often. However, he asked me the right question, about travel, and then we were chatting.

We actually met for the first time last night. Yes, the same night I broke up with Sven. So my conscience is clear in that I was not trying to date two guys at the same time.

And as for Dan, he is awesome so far. Both of us want to do more travelling so that is a plus. He is super easy to talk to. Things just seem easy (but we have only met once so we’ll see how long that stands). He drove 2 hours to meet me for the first time on a Monday night and he is doing the same thing tomorrow night because he wants to see me again. He says he doesn’t mind the drive. I have no idea how long that is going to last but we’re just seeing where things go and taking one day at a time.

Did I mention that he’s awesome?

 

No Decisions to be Made

Remember how recently I mentioned the guy who wanted to make an appointment for us to break up in 2 weeks? Well, he has never disappeared from my life.

The back-story is that we dated just over 2 years ago. Like I said, we could not make our schedules work and it just seemed like he was getting less and less interested. The frequency of talking was going down and eventually we broke up. About a year after we broke up, he emailed me and said he had been reading some of our final emails and wanted to apologize for the way things ended with us – When you are trying to have a relationship by email, including the breaking up part, things are bound to be a little sticky. Things didn’t end great, my feelings were a little hurt but I moved on. We had only dated a couple of months, it’s not like we were engaged.

I received the email but didn’t bother to respond. I may have still harboured some ill will but what was the point of replying one way or the other? I just decided to let it go.

Then a few months after that I ran into him in person, we chatted for a couple of minutes but both of us had kids so it was pretty short.

Then he came across my profile in online dating and sent me a note. We chatted a bit back and forth and I told him I had gotten laid off. He had heard about the lay-offs in the news so I confirmed that I was one of the many involved. A couple of days later, he sent me this comprehensive email on resume tips, job-hunting sites, lots of great info that I could use. It was extremely thoughtful. Of course, to be polite, I thanked him. We sent a few emails back and forth and that was it.

Last week, I inadvertently sent him a note through the online dating profiles. He had different pictures which were taken from really far away, there was no way I could know it was him. Anyway, we chatted a bit and he asked me to play squash. I have always wanted to play squash and never had the chance, he offered to teach me so I accepted. It just kind of came out of the blue and on the spur of the moment I said yes.

Well, of course we can’t play until December (the scheduling issue is really my fault this time) so I can’t tell you how it went yet. But I can tell you that he has since told me that he is really glad that we reconnected. He explained that the reason he broke up with me over 2 years ago was because he was too busy and he felt guilty that he didn’t have more time for me. I’m not convinced that that is 100% the whole truth but I think he may have convinced himself of that. He has also since told me that he was really attracted to me and thought we made a good couple.

Now the thing is, the 2 of us look like a great match on paper. I’m not convinced that things would play out any differently this time if I did give him a second chance though. The scheduling was not the only issue there. Anyway, I’m not making any bold moves at this point, I have a squash game in 2 weeks and that’s it for now.

Plus, I’m still dating Sven. Things aren’t overly serious with Sven and I (and not that long ago I was considering breaking up with him), but then we saw each other this past weekend and we had a very nice time.

At this point in time there are no decisions to be made. It’s a simple game of squash. I haven’t committed to anything more than that. It’s ok just to take things slowly and see how they pan out on all sides of everything.

Just Looking for Friends – More Dating Adventures

There’s this guy I’ve been chatting with for about 2 weeks. Funny, smart, good job, articulate, stuff in common with me, lots of good qualities… One major strike though is that he tells me that he has only been separated for 6 months. 6 months really isn’t that long when you’re separated from the mother of your children.

On another note, I’m computer savvy. I can find my way around the internet.

While talking with this guy he has shared some details of his life. Enough details that I have Googled him and found out his last name. This information has led me to his Twitter account. And… the conversations he has had with his ex. (As a matter of fact, I’m following his ex on Twitter, did I mention I live in a small city?) Anyway, based on these conversations they have not been separated for 6 months… it looks more like 3 months. As a matter of fact, she brought him back cheese curds from her recent trip to Quebec, and by recent, I mean about a week ago.

I guess his online dating profile did indicate that he was mostly looking for friends but was open to the possibility of a relationship. Perhaps he thinks he’s ready for a relationship but I highly doubt it.

Anyway, this doesn’t mean I’m not going to meet him this week as planned. I mean who can’t use more friends? I just need to approach this meeting as a “friends” meeting and not as a potential mate meeting. I wish I didn’t already feel attracted to him on some level though. We will just have to take things super slow and keep things on the “friends” page for a long time before pursuing anything else, if he actually wants to.

All I need is one awesome guy, who is available, and who likes me, and I like him, and who has enough money that I don’t have to worry about work, and all of my problems will be solved. Is that too much to ask??

Want to know something funny? He said that he has no Facebook account because he knows what happens to our data on there. Seriously… he even has pictures of his daughter posted on his Twitter account. At least Facebook has privacy settings.

Waiting to Hear from Him

Waiting to HearTuesday I met a guy for the first time. It ended up being a quick chat over a drink as he was running late and I had to be somewhere afterwards, but overall it went well. It was an unusual first meeting as he was very upfront and proceeded to lay all of his skeletons on the table to see if I wanted to run in the other direction.

Even based on some of his past indiscretions, his 2 divorces and the fact that he works in a dangerous profession he still did not hit the 3 strike mark. Maybe I’m getting lenient on the 2 divorces thing but he was honest and said he thought he got involved with wife #2 too quickly after the first marriage and had learned from his mistake.

As I was getting ready to leave, he asked me if I wanted to see him again. I said yes and told him I would send him my number. Later on that night we chatted a bit through the online site and then I gave him my cell number. Now it’s Saturday and I haven’t heard from him since then.

It’s possible he’s waiting because I told him that I was busy this week and wouldn’t be able to meet again until next week but I thought I would get a text from him by now. He came right out and told me that he would definitely contact me and gave all of the signs that he was interested. He even said I had a lovely smile and he was taken with me. In my books, that’s seems like a positive thing.

Apparently once upon a time there was a “3 day rule” that people followed regarding follow-ups but in the age of technology that has been slashed to 1.5 days. Either he is a rebel who laughs in the face of the dating rules or he just isn’t interested after all. I know he was on the dating site yesterday (it told me so) so perhaps he met someone that he likes better.

I could contact him through the dating site if I really wanted to but I choose not to at this point as I have given him my number. The ball is in his court. Maybe one of these days he’ll hit it back to me. Or then again, maybe not.

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